At the leisurely hour of 11:30 AM on Thursday, 12/29/22, I headed to the St. Louis Greyhound bus station.
My journey began with my Dad driving me to my brother's office, then my bro negotiating downtown St. Louis traffic to drop me off at the station.
I picked up some snacks and bottled water on the way, and arrived an hour early, as Greyhound recommends, for once in my life.
12:30 PM, Greyhound Bus Station, 430 South 15th St., St. Louis, MO. This turned out to be by far the nicest, most chill bus station on the whole trip.
The itinerary for the first leg of my journey, St. Louis to Nashville, courtesy of the Greyhound bus tracker, which gives you real-time updates (when it works). The driver of Bus 1167 followed this schedule within minutes all the way to Nashville.
We boarded right on schedule. There was no security other than the driver scanning tickets, and she was the only Greyhound staff. We were moving by 1:49 PM.
The bus was nearly full. I found took an empty window seat near the back next to some dude already sitting in the aisle seat.
I repeat: this popular luggage size will not fit in the overhead compartment on a Greyhound bus, unlike on an airplane. Gotta stow it underneath. Our first of five ways in which the Greyhound experience falls short of a typical airline flight.
3:05 PM CT. Our first stop was at a McDonald's in Mt. Vernon, IL. Most of us hopped right off and headed inside.
SG mumbled something about ordering at the kiosk but it wouldn't take his card. A line had already formed at the register, and I heard the order-taker say "Translator, please!" so I tried ordering on the next kiosk, which printed out my order on ... a completely blank piece of paper. I waived the paper at SG and mumbled "its blank," and he kindly pointed to the order board. "Do you remember your order number?" "Um, 85 something..." On the board I saw 185.
I turned to SG and said, "Thanks, my name's Greg." "Hey, I'm Chris." Fist bumps were exchanged.
The Greyhound Bus Tracker in action. Worked very well on the 1st and 3rd legs, and not at all on the 2nd.
Are you paying attention Dear Reader? No tray table: our 2nd big difference from an airplane. No tray table for me meant no laptop work done. I tried balancing it on my lap but typing proved a struggle as the big bus shaked, rattled, and rolled down the highway.
I had hoped I would be trapped in a place where I could get work done, but instead I was just trapped.
So I kept up my stream-of-texting and then read articles on my phone until I could doze off.
The bathroom had one of those doors that won't shut unless you shut it. So every time somebody used the facilities, the door ended up rattling and banging as we hurtled down the interstate. I didn't feel like listening to that thing all night, and Chris didn't like it anymore than I did. And as Aisle Seat Man, he did his duty.
After a few hours and a few stops, the novelty wore off, and the reality of my long journey became apparent. I figured I'd try to just settle in.